Okay, getting started in the world of blogging. I imagine over time I will talk about the many, many test and procedures that I have been put through and all of the steroids and medications that have been tried. The frustrating journey of getting someone to listen to me when I said I was in pain! And the neurologist that saw me for ten minutes and declared that I was just another addicted healthcare worker! This was a few months before the surgery that discovered that I had been living with broken screws that were literally tearing at my body! Needless to say, I left his office crying and vowed never to return to his office again. I have to admit that I would love to drag him to court because it was his inaction and bias that failed to see the problem with my spine in the beginning and then the later insults. I will elaborate in more detail over time. I can feel the flush of anger and rage rise up now! The feeling that I would want him to feel the shame he deserves and I was unjustly left with when he accused me of complaining of pain to feed an addiction that did not exist! It’s very painful emotionally to deal with the system that is set up against you. The automatic assumption is that you are drug seeking. While that may be the case for some, every person deserves to be treated with care and dignity when they come for help. The injury is difficult enough. The shaming that is done is wrong. I have applied for disability and turned down twice now! Just filing for disability was very painful and the attitude is that you are scamming the system- no matter what the facts of the case are. It amazes me how some glide through the system. Maybe they don’t and it just appears as if they do. I only know that while dealing with the daily pain and the severe depression as a result of the pain and loss of any kind of life makes it difficult to wade through their sea of paperwork and the system alone becomes a full time job when the point is that you are not in any shape to do this! I admit to being so very overwhelmed and depressed as I try to navigate this system and to try and deal with the incredible pain that I desperately want a life back. This blog is my way of dealing with the pain and coping with the reality that I’ve been laying in this bed for over three years in terrible pain. I will explain it as the days go by.